Since I'm running on fumes
we might as well have something to look at.
we might as well have something to look at.
Thursday, April 18, 2024
Pics of the Day
If I hadn't gotten sick on Monday (as detailed in too-fine-of-detail this morning here) this would've been a much bigger deal around here -- as seen above I went to the world premiere of Guy Ritchie's new movie The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare that night here in NYC and took some photos of the cast (plus some producer dude named Jerry Bruckheimer), including the beautiful Henrys Cavill and Golding (and Zaga for that matter). All of those can be seen above on my Insta. Unfortunately the experience was ruined by the food poisoning that consumed every cell of my body mid-movie, so looking at these photos now makes me feel queasy again -- not really the Pavlovian response I want to have when looking at the Henrys; I am hoping it passes with time. Maybe more on the movie later? I don't know. I'm barely keeping myself afloat today.
Jake Gyllenhaal Five Times
Although I certainly got pleasure from Jake's whole shredded Road House schtick I'm happy to post some photos of him looking like the dorky adorable boy we came to know and love back in the day -- these photos are ringing a bell that they might be from a shoot that's a couple of years old (I vaguely remember similar ones) but they are actually being used in a new edition of a magazine (via) so fine by me. They also give me the opportunity to share today's news that Jake's Presumed Innocent series for Apple+ will be premiering at the Tribeca fest in June! Which i will be covering, per usual, so stay tuned for more. I'll have more to say about Tribeca soon -- they started announcing their line-up while I was out sick earlier this week -- but I don't have all that in me today. Taking it slow. Hit the jump for the nice maybe-new maybe-old photos...
Good Morning, World
I feel just like you, Beau Mirchoff -- throwing up, check, chafed nipples, check. Just without the "running a marathon" part. What I did instead, where I have been for the past few days, has been barfing up my intestines twice -- once for large intestines, once for small intestines, duhh -- due to some bad bad real bad food poisoning I got myself on Monday. We're talking the full Linda Blair Pea Soup Experience -- my head spun around and at one point I'm pretty sure I found a crucifix in a place a crucifix shouldn't go. Especially since I don't own a crucifix. Whose damn crucifix was that anyway?? Well anyway I'm back now. I feel sort of better. I can't promise crucifixes won't come falling out of places, but who can really?
Monday, April 15, 2024
11 Off My Head: Shudder's 1/2 Halloween Sale!
I'm sure without doing a search that I posted this ancient photoshoot of Ryan Kwanten when it dropped back in the day at Bello magazine, but seeing as how the sexy ass True Blood star isn't photographed the way he still oughta be photographed these days I'm going with that golden oldie above for our purposes today. And our purposes today are this -- to point you in the direction of Amazon where the horror streaming service Shudder is having a big blow-out sale called "Halfway to Halloween" on a bunch of their movies on blu-ray and DVD! You love to see a streamer embracing physical media like this, don't you? Those fine folks know that just because you have one of their movies sitting on your shelf doesn't mean you're necessarily going to get up off the couch to put it in when you can also access it via the button on your remote control. It's the "Why not both?" meme come to life! Buy physical media and pay for streamers -- at least the good ones like Shudder anyway.
10 More Movies I Recommend From Shudder's Sale
-----------------------
These selections trot us all over the globe and hit every single tone and sub-genre of horror that you can imagine -- Shudder is the bee's knees, and it probably has a horror movie about bee's knees while it's at it. It's one of the best bangs for your buck streaming-wise that I've come across, so go support them and why not scare your pants off while you're at it?
Hi Ho Solo
Finally some news on Solo, the "drag queen romance" starring MNPP faves Théodore Pellerin and Felix Maritaud that I have been posting on for two entire years now -- in February of 2022 I stumbled on some pictures from the movie's set (it was called Drag back then) and I have been (im)patiently awaiting the final product ever since. Even as it screened at fests (it won Best Canadian Feature at TIFF) for other less attentive people, I have waited. And finally my time has come! Solo is hitting NYC on May 24th and L.A. the week after (and then presumably inward toward the middle parts of the country from there), and we've got a trailer! Watch:
Trench Coats & Tighty-Whities
Happy Criterion Announcement Day! Every 15th of the month (or thereabouts) our pals at Criterion announce their slate of releases for an upcoming month -- today's are for July of 2024 (my birthday month, holla) and let's kick them off with their drop of Jean-Pierre Melville's 1967 classic Le Samurai starring Alain Delon, in 4K baby! Delon plays a iconically trench-coated hitman who's too cool for school in this -- the set, loaded with Criterion's typical swath of extras, drops on June 9th, pre-order it at the link above. (In related news there is an Alain Delon series happening at Film Forum right now through this week, so if you're in NYC go see this gorgeous man on the big screen stat!)
Next up -- in bold red! -- we have the two-some of Glauber Rocha's Black God White Devil from 1967, an "existential western" out of Brazil, and Chen Kaige's 1993 classic Farewell My Concubine, which won the Palm D'Or at Cannes that year and features a gorgeous performance from the legend Leslie Cheung. This'll be in 4K too -- it's such a deeply gorgeous movie, I cannot wait to see this remaster!
There is a lot this month! Next up is Sam Peckinpah's Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid starring James Coburn and Kri Kristofferson from 1973 -- this one is also coming in 4K and it looks loaded as hell with four discs of material, including two cuts of the film. I have never seen this -- I guess a big selling point is the music is by Bob Dylan? And he's in the movie too? I think young hot Kristofferson is my main selling point tbh. And then we have last year's Perfect Days from the great Wim Wneders -- also in 4K. Criterion tripling down on 4K for everything, it seems. I liked this movie but maybe didn't love it like a lot of people seemed to -- that said there's no disputing that Koji Yakusho as the genial bathroom cleaner the movie follows gives a lovely subdued performance.
Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...
... you can learn from:
Professor Marston & the Wonder Women (2017)
Josette: You don't even denythat these images are overtly sexual.William Marston: An erotic component is necessary. How else is submission supposed to be pleasurable? I am teaching readers to submit to a loving authority, and that submission is pleasurable. Young boys must learn this most of all if they are to grow up respecting powerful women.Josette: What is powerful about a womanrunning around in a bathing suit?
A happy 45 to Luke Evans today.
This is such an underrated movie.
Good Morning, World
Gavin Leatherwood from Sabrina (see above) and KJ Apa from Riverdale (see below) were both trying to make us feel funny in our downstairs places this past weekend on their respective Instas, and... well quite frankly they both succeeded. May the legacy of hot dudes formerly of teen shows trying to keep our attention by baiting us with homoerotica live long and forever prosper! (And happy Monday, everybody.)
Just think of the Riverdale that could have been pic.twitter.com/xlWG37l8KK
— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) April 15, 2024
Friday, April 12, 2024
Masters of War
Inside of my review of Alex Garland's new movie Civil War it didn't really feel like the right place to go on about how sexy Wagner Moura is in the movie, so let me do it right here -- hubba hubba y'all. He's always struck me as a truly transformative actor who doesn't often rely on the sexy, but when he wants to be our man Wagner can bring it and he brings it to Civil War a hefty amount. Garland shoots the hell out of the strange and surprising planes of his face and I just wanted to slide down them like a disgruntled wall climber. Anyway that said yes indeed I reviewed Civil War today and you can read my thoughts over at Pajiba. The movie is a thrilling watch that I nevertheless wish had been a little more bold and courageous about its specifics. In the interest of both sides (which is what the film wants) I did read a very fine piece on the film right here that argues the movie doesn't need to be specific, but I still don't entirely buy that argument, nor have I ever bought the argument that journalists should strain for total objectivity. As a person who's had the foundations of my life politicized I have just never felt the roominess to make that case and it will always feel like a cop-out to me. Yes war is hell, but we're in it! So somebody better check and see who the fucking devils are poking us in the ass with their pitchforks. But anyway the movie's still a thrill and I do recommend seeing it; I hope that comes across in my review, mixed though it might be. Here is the trailer if you missed it when I posted it before:
Sasquatch Sunset in 150 Words or Less
You will believe in Sasquatch! You will see in Sasquatch! You will hear and you will most definitely smell in Sasquatch too! From esteemed weirdos David and Nathan Zellner (see also Damsel and Kumiko, The Treasure Hunter -- no seriously see both of those movies, they absolutely own) -- comes Sasquatch Sunset, a weirdly deeply moving and fluid-filled imagining of what the final days of the Bigfoot people would look like, if the Bigfoot people were real and also Riley Keough and Jesse Eisenberg in elaborately convincing Bigfoot people costumes and make-up. Commiting to its bit so fully that you can't help but believe that that's an actual sasquatch fingering its sasquatch pussy right in front of you, this movie is totally deranged and I love it like it was a new limb that had sprouted up suddenly out of my body. Sasquatch is sublime, sick, and cinema itself.
Five Frames From ?
What movie is this?
Since no one was able to guess this one yesterday
I will now add five more frames:
Good Morning, Gratuitous Zach Tinker
You can thank Playgirl magazine for this post -- not because Days of Our Lives actor Zach Tinker is featured in the latest issue, which is devoted to Days of Our Lives actors -- but because he isn't. I think he's not on the show anymore? That would probably explain why he isn't featured in it. I wouldn't know since I haven't watched a soap opera since they canceled Passions (you bastards)... well unless you count the hour I spent watching Days of Our Lives this past weekend when I was at my grandmother's house in upstate New York waiting for the eclipse to happen. Weird coincidence!
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